Friday’s Cogitations

Well, we’re slowly on the mend. The Dr. prescribed antibiotics and prescription cough syrup for Pam, Chad and me. Fortunately they seem to be working. I have a little more energy than a few days ago. The extra sleep helps too. It’s ironic. I’ve always tended to prescribe antibiotics only when I felt someone truly needed them. Now scientific evidence supports this practice. Guess I was on the right track and didn’t know it. And here I am, taking antibiotics……..go figure~

I’m curious to know if others with LBD and dementia notice that they seem more sensitive to physical illnesses than normal. Even a cold makes me feel much worse than when I was younger. Or maybe it is truly part of the aging process. I don’t know.

WordPress has been very helpful to me since their version update. It turns out that I had been using the beta verion of Internet Explorer 8. Evidently the beta version isn’t ready for everyone yet. WordPress suggested I switch over to the Firefox browser. I’ve heard about it before but now I’m sold on it. It is so very easy to use with many extra features. I like WordPress and was afraid I’ve have to switch to a different blogging host. Looks like I’m back in business.

What do I say when someone asks me how I am doing? Especially when it is asked in a “you are different” way? I’m learning to simply say OK for the most part. For friends and family who truly are understanding, I can tell them the truth.

On the other hand, it must be difficult for others who don’t know what to say when they ask me how I am. Probably like when we are in a funeral home and find it hard to find the correct words.Maybe I could start using this as an opportunity to teach and to explain what LBD is.

Which leads me to another thought. I belong to several Yahoo Groups pertaining to LBD, Alzheimer’s disease, etc. I’m having a very difficult time answering some of the emails when someone makes a post that their loved one has died. I get mixed emotions. I think the remaining loved has to be relieved but at the same times feels the pain from the loss. I personally have never been good at dealing with loss. So, for those who may be reading this, please don’t take it personally when I don’t respond to those posts.

I vividly remember when my first wife died of lung cancer (she was a non-smoker). It took me a very long time to bounce back. Only in retrospect do I realize that I was in a deep clinical depression which should have been treated. But in those days, one didn’t think in those terms.

I had difficulty when any of my patients died with whom I developed a relationship. One guy was my age who died of liver cancer. I had a hard time going past that room for a long time. That was when I was in training. I even requested to switch to a different ward in order to avoid it. Another case was with a nun. She was a real sweetheart who had terminal cancer. We prayed together.She openly shared how she’d finished her work here on earth and was ready to go to heaven. One night I was on duty when the nurse called me because the Sr. had difficulty breathing. Sr. said to me, I’ll see you “up there ” and had thanked me for all I had done for her (which in my mind was nothing). I had been on one of those 36 hour stints when I felt brain dead. So it went right over my head. She was saying goodbye. She died within the hour. I had to go back and pronounce her dead. It was one of the most difficult aspects of practicing medicine for me.

If sense that I am beginning to ramble and to babble. So I’ll sign off for today.

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Warmly……………..David