I’ve had a different day today. Felt anxious, bored (unusual for me), antsy and a little bummed. A little lazy. Not sure why. Maybe just a combination of factors. I don’t have the energy to write this blog consistent with my other obsessive compulsive blogs.
I see that Agatha Christie had undiagnosed Alzheimer’s disease. I read an article where linguists did intense studies of her writings over the years and noticed that her vocabulary gradually decreased and she began to use more generic words such as them, those, things, etc.
Just logged off a website which now says that too much sleep can be a factor in the cause of dementia. And all these years, we’ve been told that most of us are sleep deprived and that we should get more sleep. What do you all think?
A very good friend of ours called me today from Pittsburgh. Her husband has AD and is quickly declining. It turns out we both have the same neurologist. We mainly talked about how she needs to care for herself and to get nurtured by other caregivers which she is doing. But the sad thing for me is that her hubby has been a sharp and smart guy. An engineer by training. Makes me feel sad.
As I sit here typing, I feel like I am tired of researching and reading about dementia. What I read seems to either discourage me or make me feel more frightened inside. Lately, I obsess about LBD, its course, its progression in other and in me. The slow subtle changes which only I notice internally. Using less vocabulary words since it’s hard to find the right word. Making up some words and adjectives. I guess that’s good. I can still improvise and cover up my slow downhill changes. I just read another article from the Mayo Clinic today which says the average life span after the onset of LBD is about 8 years. I have read 7 from other sources. Yes, I know everyone is different and that the new drugs are helpful. It’s been about 4 years or so for me since the onset of my symptoms. I am trying to remain positive and tell myself that statistics are just that. Statistics. Not the Golden Rule.
I just wish that everyone with any type of dementia could be able to share their feelings. Of course, that isn’t possible. It would help others. And it would help caregivers understand more of the thoughts and feelings which go through our minds.
I’m not asking for nice comments and encouraging words. Just a piece of my heart today.
Interesting. As I’m typing Robin just posted a comment saying, “My mother has had alzheimers for 17 years. The doctor has recommended we stop feeding her. He said the alternative will be she will asperate and get pnemonia. My question is which will be less painful for my mother. Dying from pnemonia or dying from withholding food and fluid.”
OK. That made me realize I need to stop the self pity right now.
Robin…………..I haven’t a clue as to how to answer that. It’s a heavy question and I don’t envy you. One of those bioethical dilemmas which people dabate about constantly. But I will pray for both you and your Mom.
Would the rest of you please jump in and share your thoughts with her. I think she’d appreciate it very much.